I’m going to just put this out here and do what you will with it- I tend to start many things and never finish or follow up on them. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had a few successes. I finished high school and college, both in the average time span you would expect. The gig of wife and mother is still going strong. And, sans one major health scare, our cat still affectionately tolerates me, even though his breakfast is consistently late.
Those I think are pretty big, credible successes. But if one were to take a peek under my metaphorical rug, they would find plenty of orphaned projects/ideas/plans. Endeavors such as my attempt at being a Thirty-One consultant, going back to school for a new degree, numerous diet and exercise plans. It probably isn’t too surprising then when I say that this isn’t my first blog. There have been several others started in the past, and they all end up the same. I spend a lot of time picking out the right color, layout, and font. I eagerly start my first post, pouring out thoughts, anecdotes, and things I like/dislike/loathe. I might even come back a few days later and post a SECOND entry! And that’s about where I teeter out.
It’s not that I don’t like writing, because I really do enjoy the creative process. My major in college was Communication, with the intent of being a journalist. And I think I had a way with words when it came to writing. If you don’t count my first failed semester, my grades were good and I consistently received positive feedback from my professors. I’m not trying to pass myself off as the next Hemingway or anything, but just saying it was something I enjoyed and did well. Alas, like so many other things, I didn’t stick with it after I graduated. I applied for many jobs in my field, but nothing ever came through. I ended up settling for a job that was out of my field, but at least my degree was needed for it. The job was okay, but the most creative bit of writing I got to do was describing children’s behaviour in my weekly progress notes. Not exactly what I had pictured. None of that really matters at the moment though. Just trying to paint a picture of the path that got me to the present day.
What all my ramblings here are leading up to is that fact that I have a history of not following through with things, and many I regret. One big regret being that I stopped writing. I want to get back into in some form, hence this blog. I’m not devoting it to any one thing in particular. I just want a place to put down some thoughts, feelings, humorous stories of my kids (henceforth known as E, my daughter, and Little J, my son and future rap star) and husband. I want a place that I can come back to days, weeks, months later and reflect on what is going on and hopefully grow from it. I want to start holding myself to a higher standard on certain things, mainly the way I look at myself. I think I’m pretty cool (which totally means I’m a huge nerd), but I know I can be better- a better wife, better mother, better vessel for my soul (does that sound too cheesy?).
I’ll leave you with a short story that took place yesterday morning, that is still making me giggle-
Little J is demanding his breakfast and our pantry is severely under-stocked until the afternoon when I can get to the store. E is thoroughly enjoying a rainbow sprinkle doughnut and I open up a jar of pureed prunes (SEVERELY under-stocked) for Little J. As I start to give him the first spoonful, my darling husband walks by and checks out the food.
DH~ “Is that chocolate?”
Me~”Yes, Gerber makes chocolate baby food now.”
(I thought I put enough sarcasm behind this statement, but I apparently had not.)
DH~ “For God’s sake, you give E a mound of dyed sugar and now your going to give him chocolate sauce?!”
Me~ “Are you serious? It’s not chocolate, it’s prunes!”
DH~ *makes disgusted face* “Ugh, that might actually be worse,” and walks off.
Being around tiny humans 24/7 is draining my sarcasm skills.